Chapter 62: Abandonment

Naturally, when they noticed the integrated blade attached to my wrist, a wave of awkwardness washed over them.

Yet, they all seemed to maintain their silence, and Fatty even proactively made space for me. I could not tell whether it was a deliberate arrangement that placed me right between Chen Zhimeng and Peng Qian. However, I did not fuss over it and calmly sat down.

Perhaps because they had just eaten some food, seeing me approach so naturally actually relaxed these people somewhat. True to his resourceful nature, Peng Qian acted as if nothing had happened, warming up to me just as we used to when working at the shop.

Of course, I am by no means a pretentious person, especially in such a somewhat desperate environment. Although I felt a degree of tension and vigilance, the topic of conversation naturally shifted toward finding a way out, and words seemed to flow more easily among us.

Moreover, they seemed to understand something as well. After all, I alone could handle one of those creatures, whereas it took a whole group of them to manage the same. That naturally carried a specific significance. I did not know if anyone among them would lose their head, but I certainly hoped to avoid such a scenario.

Therefore, even though we had not opened our hearts to one another yet, they showed a certain sincerity, and I certainly did not put on airs on purpose. Seeing this dynamic, I noticed Jia Lue’s expression soften somewhat—a reaction I could tell was not faked.

Ever since Peng Qian abandoned Lan Fang, right up to the time they robbed my backpack, we had essentially been in a state of hostility. Yet this time, whether it was the goodwill I displayed or their own willingness to approach me, it at least indicated that the situation here was far from simple.

Perhaps owing to the soup they had consumed, they each looked considerably more energetic. Food is truly a wondrous thing; sometimes, a single sip of liquid is all it takes to save a person's life.

Yet, I knew this was hardly the moment for idle sentimentality.

Judging by their words and the expressions they wore, I knew their experiences over the past few days had been far from straightforward! After all, forcing oneself to cast aside deeply ingrained principles is a remarkably difficult feat.

"To be honest, Huang Jing, I know you’ve always held a grudge against me..." For some reason, Peng Qian’s voice suddenly dropped low.

Unsure of his intentions, I remained silent. Ever since we were cast into this nightmare, starting with Peng Qian’s abandonment of Lan Fang, we had seemed destined for mutual antagonism. Yet, I had never imagined there would come a day when we would sit down and talk matters through calmly.

At that moment, whether everyone had truly laid aside their inner grievances or whether perpetual suspicion still lingered had ceased to matter. After all, facing an outcome where tomorrow was no longer guaranteed, people tended to see right through a great many things.

I was all too aware that if things truly reached that ultimate conclusion, the very people sitting here tonight would likely turn on one another in the end. Although it sounded harsh, survival of the fittest and the law of the jungle have always been the governing rules of human evolution.

It was simply that we were incapable of letting go of what we already possessed!

Perhaps sensing the prevailing mood, an oppressive silence settled over the group. Yet, prompted by Peng Qian’s opening, no one else dared to interrupt. "Even if you look down on me, I don't care anymore. In the eyes of others, I might be despicable, but from my own perspective, I have to survive!"

"So you can abandon others, and even sacrifice their lives, purely to ensure your own survival? Is that an excuse for living, or the unrestrained indulgence of a beast?" Naturally, I had no pleasant words to offer, and my tone dripped with biting sarcasm!

"It's completely normal for you to think that, but have you ever considered..." Peng Qian seemed entirely unfazed by my mockery, keeping his eyes fixed steadily on me, "Why everyone is still willing to follow me, even to the extent of leaving you behind?"

This was indeed a valid question. Without someone voicing it, one might never have dared to ponder it, or perhaps simply lacked the courage to confront it. Hearing Peng Qian's words sent a sudden chill through my body, forcing that brutal reality right before my eyes.

"Because everyone shares the exact same mindset—in order to survive, certain sacrifices must be made!" Peng Qian’s voice lost its edge, taking on a faintly sentimental tone. "Ah-Jing, I must admit, you truly are a good person. There aren't many left like you in this world!"

Am I a good person?

Honestly, I would never describe myself that way!

Yet, seeing that Peng Qian was not joking, but speaking with a measure of solemnity, he continued: "Let me ask you all, in a desperate plight like this, what is the very first thing anyone must consider? Naturally, it's themselves! Setting aside whether Lan Fang is pretty or not, in the face of life and death, beauty is nothing more than a curse!"

"Yet, you alone, Ah-Jing, took the initiative to step forward!" Peng Qian stared intently at me, the corners of his mouth curving upward slightly. "At the time, I even looked down on you, thinking you'd probably just have your fill of her and then ditch her! I never imagined that with food in such short supply, not only did you refuse to abandon her, but you actually lived like a real man!"

If not for his initial betrayal, I might have been moved to tears. As it was, however, I felt no surge of emotion, merely gazing at these people in silence. Indeed, what I had relied on in the beginning was merely the lingering trace of kindness in my own heart, acting without much forethought. Looking back now, I truly had been somewhat foolish!

In an environment plagued by such severe food scarcity, no one could guarantee their own survival. An injured person here was as good as dead. In the eyes of some, since everyone was bound to die anyway, why bother wasting provisions on the living?

I figured that must have been what was going on in their heads!

That was the most tragic part of it all, yet also the most brutally honest truth!

"In a crisis like this, no one possesses such boundless altruism as to display selfless love! When mere survival is at stake, who cares whether others live or die?" Peng Qian swept his gaze across the group, a trace of desolation in his voice. Yet, he spoke the hard truth; several people involuntarily lowered their heads.

I noticed Zhou Jianguo, who was standing guard, tremble slightly, though whether he was moved by the words or stirred by some terrifying memory was impossible to tell.

Naturally, I had no mood to probe or speculate about the psychological scars lingering in Zhou Jianguo's mind. I couldn't be bothered to gloat either, but simply watched Peng Qian quietly, knowing full well he was speaking the factual truth. "I know Sister Fang is a human being, and she needs to live. I had to protect her..."

"Well said, absolutely. But, Ah-Jing, you cannot deny that she remains a burden, doesn't she?" At this, Peng Qian’s expression twisted into a faint sneer. "I don't know what day we'll reach our limit, but Ah-Jing, sooner or later, you will understand what I mean!"

Watching him stare at me as if trying to read my very soul, I understood his implication all too well. Yet, taking a deep breath, I replied, "So, that is your justification! I will accept your explanation for now, but is that also your reason for standing by and doing nothing while Huang Jianfen was attacked last night?"

"Perhaps you can't understand our actions, but under such perilous circumstances, watching Ah-Fen get nearly impaled by that creature in an instant... we are no supermen. If we had rushed in to save her and ended up attacked or impaled ourselves, what then?" Peng Qian countered with a question of his own, his voice remaining remarkably calm despite the gravity of the topic.