Volume One, Chapter 17: I Can't Just Leave You Be, It's Impossible for Me.

Liang Muzhi walked straight up to Xu Zhi. He glanced at the car that had just driven away and asked her, “Who brought you back just now?”

Xu Zhi’s heart tightened. “You saw that?”

Liang Muzhi’s brows were furrowed, his tone unusually serious as he called her by her full name. “Xu Zhi, what are you doing? You weren’t like this before—going to bars… staying out all night, being with men, you…” He didn’t finish, simply stared at her, bloodshot eyes stark against his pale, unpleasant expression.

Xu Zhi didn’t want to discuss this in front of the school. “Um… can we talk at the café over there?” If they bumped into classmates here, she’d be mortified.

Liang Muzhi took a deep breath. “Fine. I wanted to talk to you anyway.”

They went to a café a block away. After ordering and sitting down, Liang Muzhi spoke first. “What was that message you sent me on WeChat yesterday?”

Xu Zhi immediately realized he meant the message she’d deleted. “It was nothing.”

“What was it?” Liang Muzhi was clearly impatient.

“It really wasn’t anything important,” she replied. “Just… I didn’t do well on my exam.”

She used to share these trivial things with him, but now it felt inappropriate.

“Then why did you delete it?” Liang Muzhi pressed.

Xu Zhi lowered her head slightly. “Muzhi, you’ve never been in a relationship, maybe you don’t understand. I haven’t either, but… I know how girls think. If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t want him to have a childhood friend who discusses every detail of his life with him.”

Liang Muzhi said, “So you think Chen Jing would be jealous?”

Xu Zhi replied, “It doesn’t matter if she’s jealous or not, we should avoid suspicion. Like meeting alone like this—we should try to avoid it in the future.”

Liang Muzhi was so angry he laughed. “Chen Jing isn’t that petty. But you—you say you’re thinking from her perspective, then say it doesn’t matter if she’s jealous, we should still avoid suspicion. I think you’re just making excuses to distance yourself from me.”

Xu Zhi opened her mouth, but felt she had no way to argue.

Liang Muzhi continued, “I know you’re upset. Last time Chen Jing kept asking if you leaked the news and got me punished—I’ve figured it out. My mom told me my dad had a friend working at the local police station, and that’s who told him. I’ve explained it to Chen Jing, she won’t suspect you anymore. Is that good enough?”

Xu Zhi kept her head down, her mind a tangled mess. She hated complicated relationships, but Liang Muzhi was relentless. Her temperament was gentle; she didn’t want things to get ugly between them, especially since their families were close and neighbors, and they’d see each other again. But she felt a discomfort she couldn’t articulate, as if he were making things difficult for her. If she kept up their old relationship, how could she ever let go?

She wanted to pull him out of her life completely, to stop herself from hoping for anything, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it.

The silence stretched on as the coffee on the table cooled. Liang Muzhi leaned back against the sofa and suddenly gave a bitter smile.

“I don’t even know what I did wrong. Suddenly, you’re like a different person…” He rubbed his forehead. “Last night you went to a place like that… You used to be so well-behaved, and suddenly you’re going to bars with men and spending the night with them… I really…” He couldn’t describe his feelings, his voice heavy with dejection. “I searched for you all night, Xu Zhi. I looked for you all night… Yang Xue said I was wrong, but I was just afraid you’d be deceived. I mean it, last night made me feel…”

It hurt.

A pain he’d never experienced before, twisting in his chest as if something precious had been trampled, and he could only watch.

Xu Zhi was silent, a sharp ache spreading through her heart. She thought in despair: she was hurting too.

But his pain could be spoken, hers could only be hidden.

Liang Muzhi cared for her as a friend, but she couldn’t accept that care openly. She had feelings she couldn’t confess.

“I don’t know when you stopped listening to me. It’s like you’re rejecting me. You told me not to interfere, but how can I not? We grew up together, went through so much together. To me…” Liang Muzhi searched for words, speaking slowly, “You’re like a younger sister, do you understand? I can’t just leave you alone. I can’t do it—you’re family.”

Xu Zhi kept her head down, her vision blurring. These words didn’t warm her heart; instead, they felt painfully ironic.

The words “younger sister” were especially harsh. She felt like a fool for believing in those jokes, for thinking they could be real. She wanted to ask Liang Muzhi: why didn’t he tell Grandpa Liang and the others earlier?

If he’d clarified things sooner, she wouldn’t have spent years foolishly believing they’d end up together.

Xu Zhi pressed her palm hard against her own hand, just to keep calm while speaking to him. She asked, “Have you considered Chen Jing’s feelings? We’re not actually related—what kind of ‘sister’ is that? Can she accept it?”

“She doesn’t overthink like you do. She said she can accept it, said that since she’s with me, she’ll treat you like a sister too,” Liang Muzhi stared into her eyes, his tone unconsciously tinged with comparison. “She’s straightforward, not petty. She’s a lot like me, that’s why we’re together.”

Xu Zhi, though not quick-witted, vaguely understood the implication.

He was calling her petty and overly sensitive.

So she had nothing left to say.

Liang Muzhi asked, “Can we… go back to how we were?”

He spoke cautiously.

Xu Zhi had seen that look many times before. She used to feel soft-hearted, used to feel sorry for him, but now she just felt exhausted. She forced a smile, yielding once again to his wishes. “Of course.”

“Little Zhi,” Liang Muzhi looked at her deeply, “I hope you never change. I want our relationship to stay the same forever. You know, in the adult world, things are rarely pure, but you’re different… You’re so good, I hope I can always protect you.”

Xu Zhi didn’t feel she needed his protection, but she didn’t argue.

She’d had enough of these discussions; she just wanted to end this conversation quickly. Only now did she realize, perhaps because of his upbringing, Liang Muzhi was always immersed in his own world. He would never understand her feelings, only impose unwanted care on her, doing it all, perhaps, to satisfy his own need for control.

Clearly, breaking off was not an option for them, so she resolved to gradually distance herself from him.

Liang Muzhi’s anxiety hadn’t fully subsided. He hesitated, then suddenly changed the subject, asking about last night. “So last night… you really went to a hotel with the man you like. Did you… did anything happen?”