Volume One, Chapter Nineteen: The boy she once loved was long gone.

When Xu Zhi returned to the dormitory, Yang Xue exclaimed loudly at the sight of the men’s shirt she was wearing.

“What’s going on here?” Yang Xue tugged at her sleeve and, spotting the logo on the cufflink, added, “This is a handmade piece from a Parisian designer. Looks like it belongs to some big shot.”

Yang Xue even leaned in to sniff it. “The cologne is tasteful too—has that sophisticated, mature scent.”

Xu Zhi couldn’t help but laugh, though she agreed, “Right? I think so too. This woody fragrance is quite nice.”

As she spoke, she brought the sleeve to her nose.

The image of Liang Jinmo surfaced in her mind. Perhaps it was all the hardships he had endured in the past, but he did seem much more mature than others.

“Do you like this scent?” Yang Xue asked.

Xu Zhi replied, “Yes, I do.”

Yang Xue grinned mischievously. “You’re done for, you know that? This is what they call a pheromone. You’re attracted to his pheromones, and now you’re wearing clothes carrying his scent. It’s like you’ve been marked.”

Xu Zhi was torn between amusement and exasperation. “What are you talking about?”

“You still haven’t told me whose shirt this is,” Yang Xue pressed, her eyes dancing with mischief. “Come on, who is it? There’s no way a college student would own something like this. He must be someone already working.”

“He does have a job, but…” Xu Zhi felt a headache brewing. “It’s not what you think. I spilled something on my clothes and just borrowed this from him. I’ll return it soon.”

“Returning it would just make things more ambiguous,” Yang Xue said, waggling her brows. “Now you’ve marked him too.”

Xu Zhi shook her head helplessly. “I’m not interested in him that way.”

“Don’t tell me you still haven’t gotten over Liang Muzhi?” Yang Xue’s question was sharp, and Xu Zhi felt a subtle stab in her chest.

“No, I just…” She hesitated, “I don’t feel like thinking about that sort of thing for now.”

There were things she hadn’t told Yang Xue—even if she were to start a relationship, the person would almost certainly not be Liang Jinmo.

Given the relationship between Liang Muzhi and Liang Jinmo, if Liang Muzhi ever found out she’d become friends with Liang Jinmo, he would undoubtedly raise hell, let alone if she ever got together with him.

Thinking back now, Liang Muzhi’s excessive need for control had shown signs long ago.

He insisted on having absolute authority over his own life; not even his parents could sway his decisions. So when they wanted him to pursue graduate studies and take over the family business, he rebelled by refusing to do anything serious.

He despised Liang Jinmo, so none of his friends were allowed to show Liang Jinmo any kindness. Xu Zhi wasn’t sure when exactly he started treating her as a younger sister, but there was one thing she knew for certain.

Liang Muzhi wanted to control her.

Perhaps because she liked him, she hadn’t minded yielding to him in the past. But now, she could no longer bring herself to obey him as she once did.

Her ideal scenario would be to gradually drift apart from him, each going their own way in peace, so as not to affect relations between their families.

Over the next three days, Xu Zhi was busy with her major exams.

But her revision didn’t go well. The reason was that Liang Muzhi had reverted to his old ways, calling or messaging her every day.

Sometimes he asked how her exams were going, sometimes he boasted about winning a street race with his friends, sometimes he complained that he couldn’t compete in official races because of his parents, and at other times, he brought up Chen Jing.

He told her Chen Jing was from a single-parent family, and her father had gone to prison two years ago, so life was tough—but she remained optimistic and cheerful.

They had first met at the racetrack, where she worked in administration. It was a bitterly cold day, and she wore only a thin suit, shivering in the wind. She was always one to prize style over comfort.

He’d said, “Not like you, Little Zhi. As soon as it gets cold, you bundle up like a silkworm.”

Xu Zhi wondered if she was being oversensitive, but she now found herself averse to Liang Muzhi comparing her to Chen Jing, even over such trivial things.

It was as if he was constantly reminding her: Chen Jing was the kind of girl he liked, and she wasn’t even close.

In the past, a word of encouragement from Liang Muzhi before an exam would lift her spirits. But now, his calls and messages only reminded her of all the years she’d wasted on wishful thinking.

She used to enjoy conversations with him and found them relaxing. Now, it felt more like a social obligation dictated by the ties between their families.

When the last of her major exams ended, Xu Zhi felt a little down, certain she was at risk of failing.

Liang Muzhi called and, after hearing her out, tried to comfort her. “It’s fine, haven’t you already earned enough credits?”

“But I still don’t want to fail,” Xu Zhi said, dejected. “It’d be humiliating to flunk a major course.”

“Little Zhi,” Liang Muzhi said earnestly, “you care too much about what others think.”

She didn’t deny it, but she wasn’t in the mood for a lecture. “Besides, failing a core subject just means I’m not good enough.”

“It’s not the end of the world. You can always do a master’s, keep studying,” he said lightly. But his words sparked something in Xu Zhi.

She had once planned to marry Liang Muzhi after graduation, but that plan had long since collapsed. Pursuing a master’s might be a good option—she could study abroad like Liang Jinmo, put distance between herself and Liang Muzhi, and with that, time and distance would let them drift apart.

Liang Muzhi was still speaking. “Come on, don’t be upset. Tomorrow’s your birthday. Let’s hang out in the evening? I’ll give you your present then.”

Xu Zhi had always spent her birthdays with Liang Muzhi, sometimes inviting a few close classmates along. But this year…

She’d already received a gift from Liang Jinmo and promised to treat him to a meal. She thought she could take Liang Jinmo and Zhou He out for lunch, and in the evening, invite Liang Muzhi, Yang Xue, and her other roommates for dinner.

There were only two public courses left, and no one was anxious about them, so her plan seemed feasible.

But the next morning, Liang Muzhi messaged her:

Little Zhi, I’m sorry—Chen Jing wants to go shopping in Hong Kong, so we’ll be there for a few days. I can’t spend your birthday with you tonight, but I’ve arranged to have your gift delivered to the school. Sign for it when it arrives. When I get back, I’ll bring you a bag and some skincare products. If there’s anything you want, just let me know.

Xu Zhi hated the feeling of her plans falling apart.

She stared at her phone, knowing she ought to reply out of courtesy, but she didn’t want to say anything at all.

For over twenty years, this was the first time Liang Muzhi wouldn’t be with her on her birthday.

She thought she’d already let go, had no expectations left for him, but at this moment, the hurt was still there—her chest felt tight, her fingers numb.

She felt as if all her strength had been drained. Only then did she realize that the exams had merely distracted her, and now she was faced with the endless days and nights ahead, without Liang Muzhi’s company.

Was there ever any need to deliberately distance herself?

The boy she once liked was long gone. Without her noticing, he had been the first to leave.