Volume One, Chapter Thirty: The pain was unbearable for her.

Liang Muzhi couldn't help but say, "Auntie, I'm worried about her..."

"She'll be fine," Zhao Nianqiao insisted. "She's a grown woman now, she needs to learn to be strong. If she's too thin-skinned, she won't survive in this world. What happened today was a lesson from your family, showing her what she should and shouldn't do."

Liang Muzhi was no fool; he could hear that Zhao Nianqiao's words were meant for him as well.

After all, everything Xu Zhi had suffered today was because of him.

He felt as if a chunk had been gouged out from his chest, making it hard to breathe, but he found it impossible to argue.

"Go home," Zhao Nianqiao directly showed him the door. "Since you have no intention of being with Zhi, stop encouraging her bad habits. There are some things she needs to figure out on her own."

Liang Muzhi returned home feeling somewhat disheveled, though he couldn't quite say what exactly felt so humiliating.

Perhaps it was because he had never before been turned away at someone’s door.

That night, Liang Muzhi lay awake for half the night, and when he finally managed to fall asleep in the early morning, he drifted in and out of uneasy dreams, always seeing Xu Zhi’s tear-streaked face.

He was startled awake at dawn by a dream in which Xu Zhi once again pulled her hand away from his.

His heart pounded fiercely, feeling as if a hollow had been carved out of his chest, letting the cold wind rush through.

He had the inexplicable feeling that something was about to leave him, a sense of losing control that made him anxious.

The next day, Xu Zhi stayed in bed until after ten in the morning.

She was finally roused by the sound of arguing downstairs.

Now that there were no servants in the house, it felt empty, and whenever Zhao Nianqiao and Xu Heping quarreled, their voices seemed to echo through the vast space.

Xu Zhi, still groggy, took a while to get out of bed. She walked barefoot to the door, opened it, and crept toward the stairs, but stopped short.

From here, she could hear every word from below.

"Why are you stopping Muzhi from seeing Zhi?" Xu Heping's voice was furious. "They need time to build their relationship! As her mother, if you can’t help, at least don’t interfere!"

Zhao Nianqiao let out a cold laugh. "Still dreaming of marrying into the Liang family, are you? Hoping to use your daughter to get investment or a loan? Muzhi made it perfectly clear last night—he’s not interested in Zhi at all. That boy’s heart is wild; do you really think he’d want to be with her?"

"Then what good is Xu Zhi, huh?" Xu Heping jabbed a finger at Zhao Nianqiao's nose. "What use is that thing you gave birth to? I’ve raised her all these years and never asked anything of her. Now, when I finally want her to please the Liang family, she can’t even manage that. She’s utterly useless!"

Xu Zhi listened no longer. She turned away and fled back to her room, her steps hurried.

Once inside, she shut the door, threw herself onto the bed, wrapped herself tightly in the quilt, curled up, and pressed her hands over her ears.

Tears welled up again.

Those words stabbed into her heart like knives, the pain unbearable.

—He’s not interested in Zhi at all.

—Do you really think he’d want to be with her?

—What use is that thing you gave birth to?

—Utterly useless!

She bit her lip, her whole body trembling.

Xu Heping, Liang Muzhi—it was all of them. They made her feel worthless, unworthy of love.

She suddenly thought, maybe it would be better to die. If she were dead, she wouldn’t have to face any of this, wouldn’t have to think anymore.

Lonely, she fantasized about death. This extreme thought dragged her back into her memories.

Liang Jinmo was also a child unloved by anyone. His mother didn’t love him and sent him to the Liang family; his father didn’t love him and never cared about him. He was left in the hands of Wanwen Fu to be bullied by Liang Muzhi. He had broken down, too.

Only, all his breakdowns were silent.

When Xu Zhi was in her third year of middle school, Liang Jinmo was about to take his college entrance exams.

Later, Liang Zhengguo gave him the house code again, but by then, he rarely returned to the Liang home. Yet, with nowhere else to go for winter break, he came back on the eve of the new year.

That year, the Liang family decided to travel for the holidays.

But their travel plans did not include Liang Jinmo.

The servants were on leave, too, so Liang Jinmo was left alone in the house.

On New Year’s Eve, Xu Zhi stood at her window, looking toward the Liang residence. The entire house was shrouded in darkness.

She tried to be optimistic, guessing perhaps Liang Jinmo wasn’t there either, but had gone to his mother’s. Yet as midnight approached and fireworks filled the sky, she saw him.

He stood at the window of an upstairs room, like a ghost in the night, watching the dazzling fireworks outside, but not turning on a single light for himself.

Xu Zhi barely slept that night; she couldn’t imagine how Liang Jinmo spent the New Year alone.

The next morning was the first day of the lunar year. At dawn, Zhao Nianqiao and Xu Heping had their first argument of the year. Xu Zhi was restless at home, so she secretly packed some dumplings the servants had made in the fridge into a lunch box to bring to Liang Jinmo.

But as she arrived, she ran into Liang Jinmo just as he was leaving.

He glanced at her, then looked away, his eyes as dark and still as a dead lake.

Still, he ignored her and didn’t take the lunch box she held out. He simply turned and headed for the side gate of the neighborhood.

Xu Zhi stamped her foot in frustration and started to head home, but after a few steps she looked back.

Liang Jinmo’s lone figure grew smaller and smaller, solitary and forlorn.

She hesitated for a few seconds, then, thinking her parents might still be arguing at home, decided to follow him at a distance.

It was the first day of the new year—she had no idea where he was going. If he was meeting friends, that would be a relief.

Liang Jinmo didn’t take any form of transportation; he just kept walking, seemingly aimless.

Xu Zhi was getting tired. By that time, they had reached an open park in the center of town. Liang Jinmo walked onto the zigzag bridge.

Did he just want to stroll in the park? She suspected he was just bored. On New Year’s morning, the park was deserted.

She caught up to the zigzag bridge, thinking she’d try offering the dumplings once more. If he still refused, she’d just throw them in a trash bin—by now, her parents’ quarrel at home would probably be over.

But then, something happened, swift and unexpected.

Halfway across the zigzag bridge, a fake mountain blocked the view. Xu Zhi turned the corner and saw Liang Jinmo already standing on the bridge’s railing.

Without a moment’s hesitation, he jumped.

There was a splash. Xu Zhi’s eyes widened, and the lunch box fell from her hands onto the bridge.

She couldn’t quite process what she’d just witnessed. She turned and looked toward the lake, first noticing the sign nearby: Water depth three meters. No swimming.

“Liang Jinmo!” She heard herself scream.

It was the dead of winter. The surface of the lake was covered in a thin layer of ice, now shattered in large pieces. Xu Zhi saw bubbles rising to the top.

She wasn’t foolish enough to think Liang Jinmo was swimming for fun. Clutching the rail, panic-stricken, she called out his name again and then screamed for help.

No one answered. Without another thought for her own safety, she climbed over the railing and jumped in after him.