Chapter Forty-Eight: Spinning Tales and Talking Nonsense to Get Away with It

When Li Er finished speaking, the gathered ministers looked at one another. Those without opinions responded with indifference; those who had their own thoughts kept silent, and even those with objections but lacking cunning were intimidated by Li Yi. In the end, they could only compromise. “We ministers will obey His Majesty’s will!”

“Very well! In that case, you are all dismissed.”

Just as Li Yi thought the matter was over, a group of elder officials, led by Fang Xuanling, stepped forward. “Your Majesty, this humble servant has a request!”

Li Er smiled with interest. “One at a time. Xuanling, you speak first!”

“By your command. I would like to ask Your Majesty to grant me the calligraphy Li Yi just wrote, so that I may take it home and ponder over the Sage’s meaning.”

“We share this wish!” echoed the others.

Li Er was momentarily taken aback, then glanced at the words Li Yi had written—“No merchant is free of cunning”—and suddenly understood. It turned out Li Yi had used the Yan style of calligraphy. As folding fans had not yet become popular, the world was unaware of this script; no wonder everyone was both surprised and eager to obtain it!

“Haha! In that case, Li Yi, write several more pieces—one for each minister. Write carefully, do you hear? If you don’t write well, be careful or I’ll deal with you myself!”

Li Yi pouted, unwilling. A bunch of old rascals, he thought. If you want to learn calligraphy, just say so—who would believe all this talk of pondering the Sage’s teachings? And to think they want it for free, without even a reward; how is this any different from robbery? And Li Er, always threatening to punish people, what a perverse man!

Yet despite his complaints, Li Yi had no choice but to write earnestly. With more than a dozen ministers present, he had quite a few to complete.

After half an hour, the ministers departed, satisfied, each with a piece of calligraphy in hand. Li Er was in good spirits, the crown prince had gained some insight, and only Li Yi remained, sulking in a corner of the Hall of Literary Glory, drawing circles in the dust.

“You brat, stop sulking there. Was it so hard to write a few characters? Look at yourself!” Now, with everyone else gone, only Li Er, Li Yi, and Li Chengqian remained; the servants had long since been dismissed.

“You make it sound so simple! It’s not just about a few pieces of calligraphy. I was hoping to earn a little money with those characters, but now my plan has come to nothing!”

“All you think about is money. Such a proper event, and you still have to drag money into it—how disgraceful! You talk as if I mistreat you—have I ever let you go hungry or left you in rags?”

“Oh, Li Uncle, you wouldn’t know how hard it is to keep a household! I have so many people to support now, and not a penny coming in. I’m surviving on what I took from Dai Chunlin in Luoyang, and you never pay me. Soon I’ll be so poor I won’t even have a pair of shorts left!”

“Hmph! Who told you to keep so many people? You cause an uproar in Chang’an every morning. What exactly are you up to?”

“Heh, it can’t be helped! Rest assured, Li Uncle, things will settle down soon. These people are actually a great gift I’m preparing for you—an unparalleled gift you’d never expect. I get up before dawn and work late into the night for this. It’s not easy for me, you know!”

“Oh? So you’re actually planning a gift for me? What kind of gift? Tell me!”

Li Yi shook his head quickly. “I can’t say. Not yet. You wouldn’t believe me anyway; best to see it with your own eyes when the time comes.”

Li Er curled his lip. “You and your boasts. I can’t be bothered to ask.” He glanced at Li Chengqian. “Chengqian, I suppose you’ve gotten to know Li Yi by now?”

Li Chengqian looked at Li Yi with admiration. This was the man who’d argued with Kong Yingda until he spat blood, whose casual calligraphy was fought over by ministers, and who could extort the emperor to his face. Who wouldn’t want to know him! “I know him well—Wenyong and I hit it off at once.”

“Good. Don’t be fooled by this rascal’s unserious manner; when it matters, he’s quite resourceful in his own way.”

“Li Uncle, is that a compliment?”

“Hmph! Take it as you like. Now, how is your merchant alliance coming along?”

“Everything’s ready, except for the capital.”

“You really can’t go three sentences without mentioning money. Don’t worry! As soon as the bank has income, you’ll have your funds.”

“Li Uncle, rest assured—as soon as your side receives the money, the merchant alliance will be up and running!”

“Good. Yesterday Xuanling came to present the methods for salt making and pork curing. I hear that was your doing?”

“It was just something I tinkered with—hardly worth Your Majesty’s praise.”

Li Er’s hand itched, as if to slap Li Yi. “Did I praise you?”

Li Yi grinned. “Close enough, I already felt it!”

“Hmph! Don’t worry, I won’t forget your contributions. Still, I find it strange—a boy of fifteen, and you know so much!” With that, Li Er fixed his eyes intently on Li Yi.

Seeing Li Er’s expression, Li Yi realized the emperor was serious. If he didn’t provide a plausible explanation, he might not leave in one piece—he’d been shining too brightly lately. Alas, what a hard life, no rights at all—what a rotten society!

He could complain, but he still needed a reason. What could he say—perhaps claim to have been enlightened by immortals? But would Li Er believe that? Immortal enlightenment? That’s it!

“Your Majesty, it’s not that I’m unwilling to speak, but I fear you won’t believe me.”

Li Er’s gaze sharpened. “Oh? How would you know if you don’t say?”

“Very well! If you wish to hear, I’ll tell you. Ten years ago, when I was five, I was having a spat with my pedantic elder brother. I ran away from home to make him worry, but the mountains of Maoshan are vast, and I got lost. I wandered for hours, until I discovered a cave. Plucking up my courage, I went in and found nothing but a large black bamboo slip. I opened it, glanced at the many words, and immediately fainted. When I awoke, the slip was gone. I thought it was just a dream and forgot about it.

Li Yi made up his story with perfect seriousness, while Li Er and Li Chengqian listened with even greater attention.

Li Er, seeing Li Yi pause, urged him on. “And then?”

“Afterward, I wandered until my elder brother found me, and I got a beating for my trouble. I thought that was the end of it. But later, something strange happened. One summer, my brother was sweating but refused to use a fan. I couldn’t stand the smell, so I racked my brains for a solution. Suddenly, a flash of inspiration crossed my mind—it was fleeting, but I thought of the method for making folding fans. I was puzzled, so I kept pondering, and finally, Heaven rewarded my persistence. In my mind, I saw an image of the bamboo slip from that cave. I even learned its name—‘Encyclopedia.’ But the vision vanished in an instant, and no matter how I tried to recall it, it was gone. Still, from then on, strange and wonderful ideas began to appear in my mind. I suppose that’s what makes me different from others!”