Chapter 60: A Band of Ruffians!

In the blink of an eye, Li Yi lost both his leather gloves and his dignity as a man. The misery was almost enough to bring him to tears! He couldn’t possibly snatch them back—that would be far too improper, and the old master would certainly punish him for it. “Those shameless old men! Can’t they tell I was just being polite? As if I’m the one with a guilty conscience! If anyone’s guilty, it’s their three sons. Who knows how much they’ve extorted from me these past few days—shameless, the lot of them!” Li Yi grumbled inwardly, his face twisted like an eggplant, with “I’m not happy” written on the front and “I’m very vexed” on the back. Any trace of his earlier composure was gone.

“Fatty Cheng, you’re a grown man and you’re still snatching things from a child? Shame on you!” Just as Li Yi was sinking into despair, a voice as sweet as celestial music reached his ears. Looking up, he saw a burly, dark-skinned man astride a black steed riding over. From a distance, one might have mistaken him for a black hole in space.

Li Yi’s flicker of hope was instantly extinguished. The newcomer was none other than Yuchi Gong, one of the infamous duo known as the Generals of Grunt and Growl—no less shameless than Cheng Yaojin himself. Here was a man who would slap someone across the face at a banquet hosted by Emperor Taizong himself, just over a seating dispute. If Cheng Yaojin was the sly, shameless sort, then Yuchi Gong was brazenly so. Neither was any good.

Sure enough, after speaking, Yuchi Gong immediately snatched one of the gloves and put it on himself, showing no intention of returning it.

“Yuchi the Black, hand over the glove! It’s a matching set!”

“Hmph! Fatty Cheng, you’ve got some nerve, lecturing me. Why don’t you just give me the other glove so I can have the pair?”

“You two are grown generals, yet you’re fighting over a child’s belongings! Have you no shame?” While the two bickered, Emperor Taizong arrived, leading a large retinue of civil and military officials. He strode up to the Generals of Grunt and Growl and snatched the gloves away.

“Hmph! Stop disgracing yourselves. Off with you, both of you.”

The two showed not a hint of embarrassment. They cast a regretful glance at the gloves, glared at each other, and swaggered off to stand behind the emperor.

“Your humble servant greets Your Majesty!” As Emperor Taizong approached, Li Yi and the old master immediately bowed.

“Haha, Yao Shi, there’s no need for such formality!” Emperor Taizong beamed, helping Li Jing to his feet, deliberately ignoring Li Yi.

Li Yi, seeing this, knew he would have to speak up for himself. “Um, Uncle Li, about my…” He gestured toward the gloves in Emperor Taizong’s hand.

“Oh! So you’re here too, my dear nephew! No need to keep company with us old fogeys. Chengqian and Ke’er are over there—go join them!” With that, the emperor took Li Jing and walked off, leaving Li Yi dumbfounded and alone.

“Heavens! Is this the flourishing Tang dynasty or a den of bandits? From emperor to ministers, not a decent soul among them! Buddha, please take me away—this Tang is too dangerous!”

Feeling the chill in his hands, Li Yi felt like a lone wild goose, lost and forlorn.

“Brother Yi, so here you are!” Just as Li Yi was wandering, he heard Li Xueyan’s voice calling from the distance, as comforting and sweet as a radiator in winter or a fan in the sweltering summer.

Leading his horse, Li Yi strode quickly toward Li Xueyan. “Come here, girl—your brother Yi is chilled to the bone. Warm me up with your embrace!”

He made as if to throw himself at her, but Li Xueyan laughed and dodged. “Oh, Brother Yi, you’re being naughty again! There are so many people over there!”

Li Yi glanced aside—sure enough, a large group of handsome young men and beautiful maidens were gathered, chatting and laughing in small groups—the Tang dynasty’s notorious circle of idle youths.

He immediately spotted Li Chengqian, who was deep in conversation with Li Ke. With a ready excuse for his frustration, Li Yi pulled Li Xueyan over and launched into a tirade.

“Chengqian, Weide, your father just robbed a poor commoner like me. What do you say to that?”

“You, poor? You’re only poor in that you have nothing but money!” The two were momentarily stunned, then gave wry smiles. Li Yi’s shamelessness rivaled that of the old generals. They truly wondered whether being friends with him was a blessing or a curse.

Li Chengqian pulled Li Yi aside and whispered, “Brother Yi, spare us your complaints! Do you think any of us haven’t been robbed by those old rascals?”

Li Yi’s eyes widened. “Good grief, how have you survived all these years?”

Li Chengqian merely shrugged, the meaning clear.

Li Yi grinned—if that was the case, then his grievance was much easier to bear. Looking around, he realized everyone present had, at one time or another, freeloaded a meal at his family’s house. They were all “comrades-in-arms!”

“Rotten Li Yi! You didn’t even say hello when you arrived. Hmph! What kind of person are you? Not that this princess cares in the least! Stupid Li Yi, rotten Li Yi!” As Li Yi approached Changle, he heard her muttering and stamping her foot in annoyance, her back still turned to him. The sight made Li Yi’s liver tremble.

“Ahem!” Seeing she had no intention of stopping, Li Yi had to clear his throat to get her attention.

“Oh! When did you get here?” Changle jumped, startled by Li Yi’s voice behind her.

Li Yi pointed at her feet. “I’ve been here since you started stamping.”

Changle blushed and turned away. “So what if you’re here? It’s not like I care.”

Smiling, Li Yi stepped in front of her and, with a flourish, produced a dainty folding fan from his sleeve. Its face was pink silk, the ribs of white jade—adorable yet elegant. It was one of three he’d crafted himself in recent days. He’d already given one to Bingyu, who was moved to tears, and another to Li Xueyan earlier—no doubt, she was now off showing it to her best friend. Now it was Changle’s turn. To say Li Yi didn’t like Changle would be a lie; of all Emperor Taizong’s daughters, she most resembled Empress Zhangsun. She might act spoiled around Li Yi, but that was only because she didn’t treat him as an outsider. Ordinarily, Changle was the very model of grace and virtue—capable in the drawing room and the kitchen alike, a paragon of wisdom and kindness. Of course, Li Yi’s heart was moved by her. He simply didn’t know how to handle the situation—it was a classic case of having one foot in two boats, and as an upstanding youth raised under the red flag, he needed some time to adjust.

Changle’s bright eyes sparkled as she snatched the fan and examined it, delighted. She opened it, revealing flowing calligraphy. On one side: “Stunning beauty that topples cities.” On the other, a poem:

“The clouds long for her dress, the flowers for her face.
The spring breeze brushes the threshold with dew’s delicate grace.
If not for glimpsing her atop the Jade Mountain,
She’d be met by moonlight at the celestial terrace.”